When I was a fresh-faced young undergrad, I was still quite shy and a little sketchy–not that I was creepin’ around, giving people the stink-eye–but I mean that I hadn’t fully figured out who I was yet. I’m sure I haven’t fully figured that out even now, but I can safely say I feel more colored in and I’m more or less ok with who I am now (AND YOU ARE TOO, RIGHT?).
Over the course of those four formative years in college, I noticed a sort of curious phenomenon taking place: as I became less self-conscious I started waving to people more explicitly. When I was quite shy, I was not sure people would notice or remember me, so I was hesitant to put myself out there with a big brassy wave. And as became more confident that I was the kind of person that would be well-remembered, I got bolder in trying to get someone’s attention. Sort of curious, no? It goes like this:
Freshman year
Things are different! So many people around! I’m not quite sure who I am, so I don’t expect you to know either. If I see someone I think I know across the way, I will barely move my hand just at the wrist and keep a-walking. And so, if they happen to see that fluttery hand movement and simultaneously happen to remember that I exist, they can reciprocate easily; but if they don’t, people around me will not be sad that I’m the kind of person who cannot get a wave returned. “Poor little mouse, she must not be very memorable.” While maybe that’s what I thought, I did not want anyone else to think it.
Sophomore year
Well, this isn’t so new anymore. I think I can get the hang of this. I am still not sure where I fit in–those Kelley (business school) douches that I have so many classes with are really bumming me out. I will, however, venture an elbow-wave to someone I think I know across the way. A little harder to miss, and a little harder to recover from if the wave is not acknowledged.
Junior year
Alright then, I’ve been around the block more than once–if you know what I mean (note: I do not know what I mean). I’m preparing to go live in freakin’ France all by myself for a few months, so, yeah. I feel a bit more colored in, but in fact I am fairly terrified of leaving the country and meeting new people. However, most of those Kelley douches have not been accepted to the business school and are now safely tucked away in SPEA (that is the School of Public and Environmental Affairs. Sorry, SPEA). I’m feeling brave, so when I see someone across that way, I will move MY ENTIRE ARM. But I’m not actually going to make a waving motion, I think I’ll just more or less lift my whole arm up and–HEIL! Ooops…well…yes then.
Senior year
Am now owner of stamped passport, internationally-renowned and ready for the world. This is almost real life, and it’s time to step up to the plate. “Hey! I see you there, across the way. I am going to WAVE to you and you are going to LIKE IT.” I am up to a full-armed, wave-like gesture. That’s right. I am definitely waving to a person. That person is totally going to see me and wave back. I’m ready for this.
Fast forward to…
Present day
It’s on now. I am kind of a big deal, notorious to many circles both high and low. Shit, I have a blog. I must be pretty awesome, and you must be pretty grateful to know me. Or maybe I’m grateful to know you, and I want EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT. I will make a fool of myself to get your attention. If the royal wave will not cut it…
…then I will do something like this.
So the lesson here, I guess, is that if you see me across that way, do us both a favor and acknowledge me. You don’t want some crazy lady who’s forgotten how to wave like a human making motions at you in front of everyone.
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