Maybe ‘threats’ is a strong word. Maybe I could call it the sterner side of reasoning. But that would be less interesting, probably. Sometimes playing nice will get you nowhere, sometimes being kind and reasonable and nurturing and food-giving leads people to think you’re a pushover.
Well guess what, people. I’m not.
It is now time for me to outline what will happen if you do not do your work, to lay out for you the severe consequences of you douching around instead of getting ‘er done.
At this point, do not say: Hey buddy, it’d be really great if you could go ahead and make this last round of changes. If I could get it before you decide to take a 45 minute smoke break that would just be so super.
Do say: Listen, you need to make these changes and give them to me before 4pm or it won’t get to the printer today. And then we’ll miss our delivery date and the client will be REALLY BULLSHIT and take it out on me and then I’ll take it out on you.
You’ve got to show your team not only why they need to do things, but what happens when they miss deadlines or fall below expectations. If you need someone to show up to a meeting and they flake out on you–give them another chance, but make it painfully clear what will happen if they let you down again. Some people only respond when there are negative consequences to not responding. It doesn’t make any sense to me, but there you have it.
And if threats are not enough to get the job done, then I have one last alternative to offer: all-out destruction. If you tell someone on your team that you are taking their bad behavior to the big cheese if they don’t shape up–and then they don’t shape up–you’ve got to put your money where your mouth is. Right in the big cheese. Don’t let them be right when they call your bluff.
It's possible, pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. Then again, perhaps I have the strength afterall.*
*This is not 100% accurate, but I did just type it from memory and I’m pretty proud of that. Maybe I watched this almost everyday after summer school one year. Maybe I have owned three different copies of this movie. Maybe I at one point printed out the script just for funsies. Deal with it.
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