Jtal’s management tip #2: bribery

Listen, sometimes reasoning will get you nowhere. Sometimes people don’t want to listen to rational explanations, and sometimes you’re so stressed you can’t physically hear reason. Sometimes it’s Tuesday morning and all you want to do is kill everything.

If I were writing a book on management and I was only allowed two words, I would first fire my book agent, then I would write this: Bring cookies.

Look, it’s not going to make someone suddenly crank out magnificent work overnight, but it may just be the mood lifter they needed that day. I promise you it helps. If you’re asking your team to work through lunch or dinner, get them some food. If you’re asking them to meet at an unreasonable time, like Tuesday morning (I really hate Tuesdays…), bring coffee and donuts. You don’t need to guarantee it ahead of time, in fact sometimes it’s better as a surprise, but it just shows that you know it sucks and you appreciate your team being there.

When I was trying to round up people for a meeting at the agency–a meeting that was set for a perfectly reasonable time and was scheduled with plenty of notice–I still sometimes met with old Creative Director Grumblestiltskin. Or Copywriter H. Sassenpants. Or even Dr. Art Director Von Bitchenstein. Because who likes meetings, really. I don’t even like them, unless there are Gantt charts involved. Anyway, as I inevitably walked around the office encouraging people to please come with me to the meeting that their Outlook reminder was dinging at them about, I would say, “There’ll be chocolate!” And they’d begrudgingly follow, but they’d be slightly less grouchy once the chocolate was distributed.

Food also works when you’re trying to get work for free, and when you’re trying to meet new potential team members. People will show up if there is food, it’s a basic fact of human nature.

But what if you’ve tried reasoning to no avail, and your food has been long-consumed without any noticeable change in results? Then, my friends, it’s time to show them you’re serious. It’s time to illuminate the consequences of failing to meet your demands. It’s time for implied, thinly-veiled or even bald-faced threats.