Anonymous text friend: part 2

I don’t know if you’ve heard about my interesting conversation with a stranger or not, but you should probably start here: Anonymous text friend (post). Now that we’re all caught up, here’s the sequel. The Monday after my last message from Stef, I received a text at 10:15am…

STEF: What’s good

My immediate reaction was, “STEF! YAYYYYY!” I was so happy. What great new phrases was I about to learn from my mysterious friend? Would I get more clues about her life? Would she get a clue that I am not the someone she thought I was??

I’ve always felt that questions should be answered literally when you can’t read context into the subtle intonations of the voice (or when you can’t even be bothered to put a question mark at the end of a question), so I respond with…

ME: The King’s Speech

(Note my use of capital letters to ensure the recipient knows I’m talking about a proper noun. A movie. That I have just seen. That was good.)

STEF: Your fuckin nuts lol

(My fuckin nuts what, Stef? What about them?)

STEF: Im more of a true grit feller myself

Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. “Feller?” Feller? Now my world is rocked. Is Stef…a…boy? Does he watch movies about westerns? Does he have good taste in films? What does this all mean? Here I was, thinking that Stef was some kind of ditsy high school girl with bawdy language, but everything about that last message makes me question each assumption. Stef is a boy. He watches movies. He is over 13. He likes a movie that I thought was superb. He either uses contextual colloquialisms or he’s a freakin’ lumberjack (and he’s ok). You’re rockin’ my world, Stef. But I try to play it cool…

ME: That was good too
ME: How was your weekend?
STEFAN: Really good. How bout yours
ME: Good, had a lot of work to do though.

I really wanted to know what a feller like Stefan did for fun on the weekends. Did he whittle? Did he take potshots at beavers for beating him to the punch? Is he a foreign exchange student trying to learn all the nuances of English slang? Did he really find a C U Next Tuesday to slap? But alas, that was all I heard from Stef today. That was all I heard from Stefan until…THE THRILLING CONCLUSION!!

Proof: textversation

Read more: the finale!