Have you ever gotten good news that really just made you feel worse than before you heard it?
I’ll give you an example. Two years ago, when I was fresh out of college and fresh out of job prospects, I was asked to come back for a second interview at a “marketing” company up in Indy. I was super excited — this was the farthest I’d gotten on the hiring process all summer. I drove up in my snappy little suit, and found out I’d be shadowing one of the marketing reps for a full 8-hour day. I proceeded to go on about 15 cold calls to businesses in the outlying Indianapolis areas trying to sell them credit card processing services. At about noon, I thought, “Ok, ok. I could do this. If I really had to, I could do this. Plus there’ll be training for a few weeks, then a shadowing period, so it’s not like I’ll just be thrown into it.” But at the first stop after lunch, I realized, “Hell no. Hell. NOOOOOOOO. I have to get the fuck outta here, this is the worst thing for me ever. There is no way I could do this even for one day. No matter how desperate.”
So we got back to the office, and after a short discussion between the supervisor and the girl I was following all day, they called me in. And offered me the job. On the spot. My stomach fell to my toes, and I squeaked out that I’d need some time. I smiled, shook their hands, got in my car, and started crying hysterically. I pulled over to a McDonald’s to call my bff. Here was a job, a real-life money-making job, here in my hands. This was the farthest I’d gotten after months of rejection. What if there was nothing but this available to me? But how on earth could I force myself to go back there. It was good news that destroyed my fragile emotions. It was confusing…
I eventually calmed down, got in my car, and on the drive home realized what I’d known all along: this was not the job for me. It was just something that could be done by someone with my capabilities. But it wasn’t mine. Mine would come, eventually, and if I had to wait a little longer for it, then so be it. It would be just that much sweeter when I found it.
I recently got some news that — while good and overdue — made me really depressed. I liken it to finding out you’re really good at something you don’t want to be really good at. Like, strangling kittens. I mean, sure, it’s nice to know that you have a certain skill-set, but it doesn’t mean I want to be strangling kittens for the rest of my life.
If a decision is really tearing you up inside, if it makes you nauseous to think about acting on that “good news”, well, you know the answer then, don’t you?
Leave a Comment